Fine dining, like most of the other finer things in life, is not very useful to me. Give me a dive restaurant with strange characters hanging around the fringes and I come alive. Give me table settings, seating arrangements, waiters pouring glasses of water for me, and I become a bundle of nerves. This probably has something to do with the fact that I never learned to tuck my shirt in, tie a tie, or figure out why anyone would need a special fork to eat a salad. My idea of a good meal is to be brought a sizable portion of tasty food, then left alone to dine while I read a book or newspaper. I find anything that gets in the way of me devouring food and information at the same time extremely irritating. My own mother once told me to stop being anti-social. I took this motherly advice as a compliment.
So, you can imagine my anxiety when I endured fine dining at the guesthouse in Gallbrunn where I was staying the night. The waiter turned out to be the same young man who had shown me to my room. He was attired in a perfectly pressed pair of pants and a shirt so white that it could have acted as a source of illumination. There was not a hair on his head out of place. His manners were exquisite. This was all a bit too much for me. I needed a bottle of Xanax to get me through his meal. Instead, I got a glass of water so sparkling that it glittered like diamonds. The menu was one of those sizably elegant tableaus that screamed sophistication. I found the entire guesthouse dining experience to be nerve wracking in the extreme. I was not looking for a meal fit for a king, I was just looking for something to eat.
Dining in – At the Guesthouse in Gallbrunn
Elegance & Expense – Less Than Great
I am always amazed at how the Austrians can take a normal experience and transform into something of the utmost elegance. In this case, that was not for the better. The food was good, the atmosphere was not. The bill was alarmingly high for what amounted to an above average dining experience. I wondered how anyone could afford to dine out or endure the high cost of living in Austria. I once met a Brit on a flight who was teaching in Sweden. I asked him how anyone could ever afford to live in a place where the taxes were high and consumer prices even higher. He said the taxes were tolerable because they paid for social benefits. Swedes also knew how to cut costs, such as avoiding restaurants because they were too expensive. I imagine Austrians do the same thing. The locals can choose to dine in, rather than out. Fleecing foreigners and those on business trips is a sure money maker.
I could stomach my meal’s cost because this was a vacation, but I still could not help but wonder why I needed to pay a premium for food presentation, not so sizable portions, and impeccably mannered staff. It was all a bit too much. That pretty much sums up my opinion of Austria. A place where only the best will do. The guest pays the price for a nation full of perfectionists. Even if the food was not five-star quality, the restaurant did everything to make it seem that way. The meal would have tasted a whole lot better if not for what I had already been facing back in my room. The internet was still not working. That drove me to distraction. It made the guesthouse seem less than great in my eyes.
Fine dining – At the guesthouse in Gallbrunn
The Austrian Way – Top Of The Line
No matter how hard the guesthouse staff tried at check-in and dinner, I kept coming back to the Wi-Fi malfunctioning. I could easily survive a night without going online, but that was not really the issue. I was obsessing over the fact that Austrians ran this guesthouse, and they should be held to a higher standard. In my mind, they were all perfectionists. I could not imagine why they allowed such a glaring deficiency in customer service. There was no excuse for the internet outage other than it was Sunday. That meant Herr fix-it was probably not available. That would be fine except for what the waiter told me when I mentioned the Wi-fi not working. “Yes. That has been happening.” All I could then think of was how they had let this issue linger. Why didn’t they get it fixed? I was acting neurotic about a minor problem. Perhaps I had spent too much time in Austria. Imperfections, let alone malfunctions, are not the Austrian way.
The internet problems would persist and there would be no quick fix for them during my one-night stay. I went back to my room for an unmemorable evening that mercifully ended in a good night’s sleep. The next morning after check-out, an airport transfer arranged by the guesthouse whisked me away to Vienna International Airport. The fifteen-minute drive cost over half what the guesthouse room did. The driver was a middle aged, barrel chested, talkative Austrian, driving a very nice Mercedes. The car looked like it was almost new, just like everything else in Austria. The driver not only offered airport transfers, but also tours of the countryside. Wherever anyone wanted to go he was willing to take them for a price. Judging by the cost of my short ride to the airport, I could only imagine the exorbitant – or extortionate – rate he charged. No wonder he was driving such a top-of-the-line car. The work must be nice. if you can get it.
The way home – Vienna International Airport (Credit: C Stadler/BWAG)
Revealing Results – Too Good To Be True
As for me, I was ready to leave Austria. I would like to say the country is overpriced, but it enjoys such an outstanding reputation that many visitors will gladly pay those high prices while on holiday. Austria has done a great job of managing its reputation. Despite my misgivings, I must admit that it really does have a lot to offer visitors. This includes world class art museums, soaring Alps, splendid classical music, Habsburg history and evocative castles. Austria often lives up to its reputation. When it does not, the results can be revealing. Austria sounds too good to be true. In my opinion it is.
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Europe Between East And West 